Stories From The Head

Skriftefar's Secret Pollen, Jømjøm, Æksem and Gjær had one thing in common: They were all sons of Skriftefar. Every single one of them was aware of this fact, except from Pollen, Jømjøm and Æksem. They all lived together in a huge canoe, that was constantly drifting downstream. In a hole in the rear end of the canoe, dwelled a king caterpillar and his totally uninteresting family: A sandcat, a sandcat and a sandcat. The caterpillar, Kång Fluesmækker, would vomit at the very sight of his wife (the sandcat) and their two children (the two remaining sandcats), because of the boredom they filled his soul with. Why mention the caterpillar?, you may ask. Why not?, is my reply. Back to Skriftefar and his sons. Gjær was a hell of a cook, and was in the midst of the process of making samosa, while humming the tune "Kætterpillar, kætterpillar, vor har du jort av dei?". His innocent humming was suddenly interrupted, as the paddle (for paddling and making samosa) hit a dead guy in the river. He introduced himself as Holo, and claimed he thrived on floating down the river. After a quick taste of samosa, he felt like continuing his hazardous journey, which was not so hazardous after all, seen from the point of view of him being dead already. "Hey, son! What's taking you so long?" Skriftefar was getting hungry. "Nothing, pa! Was just talking to a dead guy drifting downstream!" "Yeah, right!" was Skriftefar's reaction, as he threw himself over the samosa, only to discover a white torn-off finger on top of it. He licked it gently. "Hmmm, that taste....he didn't introduce himself, did he?" Skriftefar said, trying to tear the fingernail out with his wisdom teeth.  "Who?", Gjær asked. "The dead guy." Skriftefar said. "Well, I think he called himself Hono, or something..." "HOLO? Did he say his name was HOLO?" -Skriftefar was getting nervous. "No, dad, only the "H" was a capitol letter." A sigh of relief came from Skriftefar, as he chewed on Holo's finger. "Boys, I have a confession to make: I am not your real father! Your real father is....Jømjøm!" Kång Fluesmækker didn't even lift his eyebrow, he was far too busy chewing HOLO's finger...

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