Stories From The Head

Elevhex Proclaims His Love  "I AM IN LOVE", Elevhex shouted to the enormous crowd gathered in the town square. Nobody really listened. "Who cares?", one voice sounded. "Go fuck yourself", another one said. "Hmmmm..", Elevhex thought. "I need to get their attention". He cleared his throat. "Anyone want to get laid?", he shouted, getting ready to run. "Catch me if you can!". No reaction. An old man started walking in Elevhex' direction, but his heart failed after only a few steps. "Damn", thought Elevhex as he watched the ambulance arrive to take the old man away. "He looked GOOD!". This whole situation was starting to get more than a little embarrassing. Elevhex had told everyone that he had something to say, and everyone had gathered in the square to listen to him. (That is, everyone except Gabbah, the blacksmith, who was busy eating an egda-fruit). A riot was about to erupt, and Elevhex had to act fast. He put on a red nose, and tried again; "I...AM...IN...LOVE!" The crowd went crazy. None of them wanted to se the dull old Elevhex proclaim his love, but when he put on the red nose, it became the highest form of entertainment: COMEDY! "I LOVE A GIRL CALLED JIZZA!" The crowd fell over laughing. "Stop it, Elevhex. You're killing us!" But Elevhex didn't stop. "OH! HOW I LOVE HER!". The ambulance personnel were so busy laughing, that the old man died from the heart attack he'd sustained earlier on in the story. Elevhex OWNED the crowd. "I LOVE HER SO MUCH..." Suddenly his nose fell off. The crowd fell silent. A clear voice rang out: "IT'S ELEVHEX! HE'S BEEN WEARING A DISGUISE!" Elevhex started running. He didn't get far. As he lay on the ground, he heard a voice from behind. "Elevhex, you stupid bastard. NOW we want to get laid!" It was Gabbah, the blacksmith. From the corner of his eye, Elevhex could see a half-eaten egda-fruit. Then, he saw no more...

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