Stories From The Head

Burton’s Bleeding Bellybutton “Drip, drip, drip”. Burton was hanging 30 feet of the ground, suspended between a wooden horse and a crow’s nest, facing downwards. His bellybutton was bleeding like hell, but Burton was smiling. Why was Burton smiling when his bellybutton was bleeding? Because Burton loved his bleeding bellybutton! One day he wanted to leave Underbare Island, and show the world to his bleeding bellybutton. But not today. Today, Burton and his bleeding bellybutton were busy hanging 30 feet of the ground, suspended between a wooden horse and a crow’s nest, facing downwards. Three days ago, the crow who lived in the nest asked Burtin to watch over her kids, but Burtin was busy, so Burton took the job instead. It was not a career-making move, but it payed well (crows are not known to be cheap, are they?), and Burton got a chance to air out his bleeding bellybutton. Hanging there, Burton suddenly realized something earth-shattering. Sadly, he never revealed what it was, but simply continued watching over the wooden horse, just as he had promised the generous crow (Burton was not very good at remembering what he promised people to watch over). One day, Burton’s bellybutton stopped bleeding, and Burton started crying. “Drip, drip, drip”, his tears sounded. But the crow (passing by on her way to a conference on the use of magnets when stealing shiny stuff) knew what to do. She simply used her beak to penetrate Burtons unbleeding bellybutton, and: “Drip drip, drip drip, drip drip”, Burton’s tears were accompanied by tiny drops of blood, and everything was back to normal. Three days later, Burton experienced something awful: The wooden horse opened, and a figure slowly arose from within. IT WAS BURTIN! “So, stealing my work, eh?” he hissed. Burton never got a chance to answer. Burtin slashed his throat with a flaming hamster (don’t ask me how), and Burton died instantly. But his bellybutton… it died, too…

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