|
Wunderben: Incoming
"Are
you quite sure this is necessary?", the princess asked, while Segment, the
castle's sage, strapped the harness even tighter around her waist. "Oh, yes,
princess! This ritual is highly obligatory!" The princess, whose real name
was Dværg, had mourned for as long as she could remember. The reason was her
inability to give birth to a dog. "Neither a strange urge, nor an impossible
wish to fulfill", you might point to, but this particular situation was far
more complicated, seen as she wanted to give birth to a DEAD dog. Besides,
she wanted the dog have a hard time during the birth. The last part of
princess Dværg's command was perhaps the most challenging one. Segment, the
sage, drew her an overview of the situation. It looked approximately like
this:
Giving birth to a dog
a) Giving birth to a dog is possible.
b) Giving birth to a dead dog is possible.
c) Giving birth to a dog having a hard time during the birth is possible.
d) Giving birth to a dead dog having a hard time during the birth is not
possible.
As Dværg threatened to kill herself, just having received this shocking
information, her father, Mainn, ordered the sage to make his daughter give
birth to a dead dog having a hard time during the birth. How, had been, was
and would remain Segment's problem. It seemed like Segment was facing an
impossible task. How could he do this? How could he make the dog suffer,
when it was already dead? He fell down on his knees, and started to pray:
"Dear Sata, god of infertility and dead dogs, please help me cope with
this!" All of a sudden, Segment felt relaxed. He got up on his feet, fetched
the dead dog from the fridge, whereupon he inserted it into Dværg's vulva.
"Is it suffering? Is it suffering?" The anxiety in Dværg's voice was not to
be mistaken. As the dog suffered, Segment got on top of Dværg, and "entered"
her. "This was not a part of the plan, Segment!" Dværg said. "No, but it is
now", Segment replied, showing her his ID, saying "Dead Dog". "But I'm not
giving birth to YOU! I'm giving birth to the dog", she objected. And yes
indeed. She was absolutely right. He had made a terrible mistake, he was
aware of that. "But, what the hell", he said to himself, "I'll just do my
thing while already here... WUNDERBEN: INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!" Segment got
married to the dog the next day...or did she? |
