Stories From The Head

The Egg Picture a lovely autumn night. A young boy and his father are walking silently across a beautiful hill in the countryside. They stop walking as the boy notices something in the grass. “Look, father” says the boy. The father looks down. “What is it?” asks the boy. “It is an egg,” replies the father. “An egg?!” says the boy. “An egg” says the father. “Will it hatch soon?” asks the boy, wide-eyed. “No, my son” replies the father, violently stomping his right foot on the little golden egg. “It will NEVER hatch...”... This is the strongest memory Budokatt has of his father, Kjempesur. The inhabitants of Luppunninia were aware of the strange behaviour of Budokatt’s father on the night in question, and a young journalist called Edvarg had recently been making enquiries about the “Egg-Stomping Night”, as it was called (it was celebrated on ten of the eleven continents of the world, the continent of Sado refraining because of a general fear of celebrating things). Edvarg had been tracing Budokatt for several intense hours now, and he was pretty sure the old bastard was hiding on the island of Sement on the Sado-continent. “Budokatt? Is that you?” Edvarg said to everyone who passed by. It was no use. The only ones who gave a positive response to Edvarg’s inquiry were Ilder, a known intellectual, Åjåjåj, a whore, and Budokat, the president of Sement. Edvarg immediately made a list of everyone he’d asked (in addition to the three morons who had given the wrong answer): Nilt Ihi Såvegått Preds Hehalvor Østervin Hiine Laloo Xaz Zax Plebbelin Plebbelan Gud Rettebord J Svenna The Gånderståkk Liss Ejef Sprettetast Ysa Onin This left one man, and one man only: The man in the tower. Edvarg rang the bell. “Ding dong” he shouted, and hoped the bell would take the hint. A one-eyed man emerged from the door. Edvarg immediately attacked him. “Budokatt? Is that you?” The one eyed man fought for his life. “Yes, that’s me, my young attacker”. Edvarg was just about to pinch Budokatt in his “cup of love”, when he took the time to look around. THERE WERE EGGS EVERYWHERE! “Now you know” Budokatt whispered. And Edvarg knew. As he sat in the local tavern, drinking ompa-beer with Svenna, Hiine, and his old pal, The Gånderståkk, his abdomen exploded. The next spring “Egg-Stomping Day” was celebrated on all eleven continents. Onin chose NOT to participate...

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