Stories From The Head

A Good Name

”The king is dead, long live the king,” screamed the duke of Sandofjord. Old King Myntograf, The Invincible was dead, and his son Bandersaft was crowned the new king of Arveflør. He put on the royal crown. Then he put on the royal cloak. Then he inserted the royal needle into his left eyeball. He was nearly ready. As he sat on the throne, he had only one decision left before he was a complete king: He needed a good title to put behind his name. His father was known as “The Invincible”, and Bandersaft would have a rough time topping that one. His councillor, Bexit, had retrieved the ancient “Tome Of Kings”, to get some inspiration. As he was carrying the tome, Bexit suddenly turned into a shark, and the court jester had to:

  1. Find an aquarium to put Bexit in.

  2. Avoid being eaten by Bexit the Shark.

  3. Remove the ancient “Tome Of Kings” from inside Bexit.

  4. Call for the royal surgeon to have his right arm sewn back on.

  5. Visit King Bandersaft, and read aloud to him from the ancient “Tome Of Kings”.

Having done all this, the jester, or Narren, as his real name was, found himself sitting at the foot of King Bandresaft’s throne. “WE NEED A GOOD NAME” the king boomed. Narren thought this was the perfect time for a raunchy joke...”How about “KING BANDERSAFT, THE GAY PIGFUCKER, my lord?” The king immediately broke Narren’s jaw. “Ok” thought Narren. “It’s one of THOSE days”. He started reading from the ancient “Tome Of Kings”.

King Jullip   -     The Annoying

King Hazaron -      The Large

King Pikki    -     The Misunderstood

King Gratis   -     The Poor

King Arazaf   -     The Albatross

King Inger    -     The Amazingly Happy

King Tristagud -    The Nauseous

King Odel     -     The Sexually Exited

and

King Ulvehund -     The Negro 

“Not much help there,” thought Narren to himself, carefully NOT opening his mouth. “WE KNOW!” shouted King Bandersaft. “WE WILL BE KNOWN AS...

              KING BANDERSAFT - THE RETARDED!”

And so it was...

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