Stories From The Head

Ugly Women Høstsnekker was in love. He’d just finished school, and was getting ready to go out into the world to look for work. His girlfriend, Hora, was probably the uglies woman on earth, but this only made Høstsnekker feel more beautiful. When they went on their weekly walks in the country, people (even the not-so-good-looking) would glance at Hora’s face, and immediately start vomiting. Then they would look at Høstsnekker, and their eyes would light up and they’d whisper gaily among themselves: “Look at that beautiful creature. Why is he walking around with that MONSTER-WOMAN?!”. He loved it. “Well”, he used to say to himself when no one was looking. “It’s better to love an ugly woman than to sleep with an amazingly well-shaped black gentleman with extremely potent sexual abilities”. As you probably have guessed, Høstsnekker was an amazingly stupid man. Hora knew this, and one particularly stormy autumn night, she used her gruesome appearance to trick Høstsnekker into giving her all his money and a nice sweater with a small banana printed on the back. SUDDENLY Høstsnekker died, and Hora was alone in the world. She realized she would never experience love again, so she put on her new sweater (the one withe the small banana printed on the back), and ran for president. She lost...

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