Stories From The Head

The Beasts Sebastian took one look at his food, and, adjusting his underwear, told his servants to throw it to the beasts. The beasts were eight beautiful women who lived in a cave beneath Sebastian’s castle. They were all good-natured, happy women, who shared the same disease: They had seven breasts each. This was a terrible crime in the country of Jænsekukk, where it was considered polite to keep AT LEAST eleven breasts each. For Sebastian, the beasts were a great comfort. He was the king of Jænsekukk, and whenever he had to make a difficult decision, he would insert needles into one of the beasts’ breasts, and, at least for a while, he forgot about the burden of being king. One day, while Sebastian was considering going to war with his neighbor, Adolf – king of Hodepult, the beasts decided to trick him into making love to them all at the same time. It failed (the beasts were amazingly stupid), and Sebastian ordered his head of security, Ompador, to cut off another breast. Now the beasts had only six breasts each, and they were really getting hideous to look at. Four days later king Sebastian was killed by Adolf – king of hodepult, and Jænsekukk was invaded. The new king passed a law that stated that wll women with more than four breasts would have needles inserted into them, and the beasts were having a really rough time. They decided to trick the new king the same way they had tried to trick the old, and, before he knew it, Adolf was making love to all the beasts at the same time (he was even more stupid than the beasts). The problem was that since the beasts had several needles inserted into their breasts, Adolf couldn’t handle them all, and decidet to take up carpentry. Four years later, the beasts ruled the country of Jænsekukk, and everyone with seventeen breasts or less received 400 gold pieces to keep quiet about “the process”. It worked...

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