Stories From The Head

The Angry Nussussian Junnan was trembling. He had inserted three packs of “Marie”-cookies into his mouth, and was shaking all over. “Æ sjælv, æ sjælv” he cried out in his native tongue, Nussus. He’d been challenged to eat seven packs of “Marie”-cookies by his cousin, Kyrre, and there was no way he’d refuse the opportunity to show the world (and his cousin Kyrre) what an established “Marie”-cookie consumer he had become. “Crack”. The fourth pack went down in a second. He knew he could make it. All he needed was some Hunni-water. “Excuse” he said. “May I get the Hunni-water, or maybe not?” The referee looked at him. (He was about to correct Junnan’s grammar, but he remembered at the last moment that Junnan was from the country of Nussussia, and, you know what they say: “NEVER FUCK WITH A NUSSUSIAN WHILE HE’S ENJOYING A PACK OF “MARIE”-COOKIES!”). “Yes. Yes you may get the Hunni-water” the referee finally whispered. Junnan smiled. He looked at the Hunni-water dispenser. “Oh, yes. How is? May I get it now, is possiblo?” Junnan inquired of the referee. “No, Junnan, you may get it later”. The referee gave Junnan a stern look. So did the Hunni-water dispenser. “Crack”. The fifth pack went down. “Besides, my name ain’t Kvæssa” the referee shouted. “IT’S BÅGGES!!!” He was furious, and Junnan could see why. The tiny spaceship that was circeling nearby was about to start its landing procedure, and Bågges was extremly frightened of spaceships smaller than class R (very big). Junnan opened the sixth pack. “Crack”. The spaceship landed in th middle of the “Marie”-cookie eating area. A small “space door” opened. Bågges was running for his life. “Ztop!” A voice from inside the spaceship sounded. A creature, a BEAUTIFUL creature, emerged from the pod. “Ve haf kom to retrieve ze GÅJJEB! Pleaz hand ofer ze GÅJJEB!” Bågges looked at Junnan. “Crack”. The seventh pack was gone. Bågges put his and into his left pocket. He removed a tiny object and showed it to the beautiful creature. “Is this what you want?” he asked the alien. “Iz it a GÅJJEB?” Junnan smiled. Of course it was a GÅJJEB. Anyone could see that. “WELL I’M NOT ANYONE” the space creature shouted. “Whoops” thought Junnan. “The creature could read my mind”. “OF KOURZ I KAN” the creature replied. “NOW GIF ME ZE GÅJJEB!” Bågges did what he was told. The creature got in his vessel, pressed the button marked “GO AWAY”, and left the planet. “Crack” Junnan devoured the eight pack. Now there was no turning back. THEY HAD TO RETRIEVE THE GÅJJEB. IMMEDIATELY...

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