Stories From The Head

The Fate Of MaTROs MaTROs hated being called "Matros". The reason was simple: His name was MaTROs, not "Matros". Nobody understood how much this annoyed MaTROs, since this had become an almost every-day problem to MaTROs. MaTROs’ mother, SkiPPER’n, was equally irritated because of the incorrect naming of her son, MaTROs. SkiPPER’n’s husband KapTEIn (who was also MaTROs’ daughter) didn’t let this problem bother her, since she was only two years old. (Even though she was pretty mature, her low age considered.) Well, back to MaTROs: SkiPPER’n finally decided to establish contact with local agency "Respect your neighbour’s name inc.", to make them statute an example when it came to the incorrect usage of MaTROs’ name: MaTROs. (As already mentioned, MaTROs loathed being called "Matros".) Snipers where delegated areas by the agency, in which they thought it likely MaTROs would, disrespectfully, be called "Matros": In MaTROs’ home, in church, at school, at the tivoli, at Veita and finally, in Skarphallen. After seven days and twenty-four nights, the starving snipers got their signal to open fire: The incorrect name "Matros" had been uttered in MaTROs’ own home, and the violator was, as you have probably guessed, KapTEIn, MaTROs’ two-year-old daughter. No less than sixty bullets were placed in her little body, and she died two weeks later, from lead poisoning. When MaTROs got in touch with the agency, he was not able to thank the manager as much as he wanted: "Oh, I’m so happy...you know, KapTEIn was nothing but a pain in the ass to me!" And everyone was happy...well, except from SkiPPER’n, who had to start looking for a new husband, and in that age, they were hard to find...really hard to find...

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