Stories From The Head

Don’t Honk The Hord Spude had a hard time accepting the unfair rules that his driving teacher, Mr Gla, had invented. "Don't honk the hord...no I mean the horn, the fucking horn", he often cried, even when Spude wasn't in the car. Mr Gla was mentally unbalanced, they agreed on that, and even so, the horn business had never bothered Spude. But when Mr Gla had been drinking he used to torment Spude with another, more serious accusation: "Turn the fog-lights on", he'd sometimes whisper in typical Mr Gla-fashion. "The fog-lights, Sima*". At first, Spude used to get his revenge by tormenting Mr Gla’s family, but he soon grew tired of that. So he started ignoring Mr Gla's mental torture, concentrating on becoming a careful and responsible driver. He often thought of a story he'd heard about a man called Anelo who used to torture another man called Port with an invisible car. This always made him shudder. Because of this, Spude never received his own driving license...   *: Mr Gla wasn't very good with names.

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