Stories From The Head

The Goose-Puppy Pekker was suffering from severe chest-pains. Meanwhile in another part of the park, a small dog was barking hysterically. Time to call the cops? Hardly! You see, Pekker was having a heart-attack, and the dog was chasing a couple of geese in an attempt to mate with one of them (the female one, naturally). The dog, Inkompotamp, was getting older, and had found himself longing for a child. Not an ordinary dog-child. Oh no. Inkompotamp wanted… A GOOSE-PUPPY! Now, the male goose was running for his life, but the female one was simply playing hard to get. She had a bit of a crush on Inkompotamp (he had been chasing her for quite some time), and was considering giving herself to him. She pretended to fall, and the dog was on her in an instant. Inkompotamp (always the gentleman) immediately bought her a drink (bourbon, straight up), and started chatting with her. The conversation went a little something like this: Inkompotamp:  WOOF WOOF HOOOOOOOOO! Woohff…. Goose#2: Cræææ…zæææ… GRÆÆÆÆ… creee…. Inkompotamp:  Wooooooooo… OOOOOOOOOOOO! Goose#2: Quræææ..krææææj… griijijiiii…. They soon realized that they had nothing in common, and the only way to avoid more awkwardness was to engage in a bout of intercourse. The male goose watched the proceedings from a distance (it wasn’t a pretty sight), and he got extremely jealous. You see, all this time the male goose had the hots for Inkompotamp, and it was killing him to see him with another goose. Inkompotamp was unhappy too. He loved the male goose, but knew they’d never have a goose-puppy together. The female goose, on the other hand, was having a blast. She was getting laid, and Inkompotamp was a sensitive lover. Two minutes later, Pekker was dead from his heart-attack. He would have loved to see the goose-puppy…

Back