| Stories From The Head |
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The Moneyfather Capos longed for one thing and one thing only: To live in a tiny bag with his pet hamster Nemo. Sure, he enjoyed the company of other furry creatures – Oblong the rat, Jimmon the turtle, Gebaz the lizard, but Capos liked Nemo the hamster best of all. When not working as a sweat-monster in the local circus, he would stay at home making bird-seed-lollypops or broccoli-brownies for his hamster. But this wasn’t enough. Capos had always dreamed of sweating for a living, but now he wasn’t so sure. The circus business was a dirty one, and he was tired of all the joking, the great times in the cafeteria, the funny stories from other circuses, the friendly camaraderie, the applause, the cheering crowds, and all that crap. Capos wanted nothing more out of life than live in a tiny bag with Nemo the hamster, listening to silly music. Forever. There was only one problem: Money. Capos didn’t have any. You see, Capos spent all his money on beer. The only thing he enjoyed more than the company of Nemo was the company of beer. He would sing songs of praise to his beer, he would pour it over his own head, brush his teeth with it, and, worst of all: DRINK IT! (The sick bastard). Capos could only think of one way of getting the money for his bag (and infinite quantities of beer) – he would have to call on The Moneyfather. The problem with this was that nobody knew who, or what, The Moneyfather was, but one of the other circus-performers, Esther Montague, talked constantly about receiving a letter from The Moneyfather containing – you guessed it: MONEY! When Capos decided to venture out into the world to find The Moneyfather, he was, of course, drunk. It was a dangerous and difficult journey, but Capos knew where he would start looking for his future benefactor: Everywhere. Two years later he found himself deep in the Zummikatta-mountains with no bag, no beer, no clothes, and no sign of The Moneyfather. Capos decided to go back, disappointed, but happy. Happy because he would soon meet Nemo the hamster and the beer again. Capos decided he would leave things as they were, and went back to sweating for a living. Meanwhile, in a cave in the nethermost regions of the Zummikatta-mountains, The Moneyfather, perched upon a sea of cash, smiled to himself. “You were not the one, my boy”, he thought to himself. “You were not the one”. Three days later Øhe received a letter from The Moneyfather containing three pieces of string and a dead bat. He was NOT happy… |
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