Stories From The Head

The Amazing Adventures of Lemme-Lepja When he woke up late in the evening on a chilly November Tuesday, Lemia felt uneasy. He’d stretched out on his mother’s couch on April 27. (a Sunday) for a quick nap, and, as he stumbled to his feet, Lemia realized that something had happened to his body. Although he didn’t know it at the time, his 30-minute nap had mutated into a 6-moth metamorphosis. (April –November would normally mean a 7-month metamorphosis, but, as it is forbidden to morph in June, it was a 6-month process (it would have been a 7-month deal if Lemia had decided to take his nap in July (July-January), and who knows what had become of him then)). As it was, Lemia had developed into Lemme-Lepja, and his (her) life changed in more than one way. (Two ways, actually): 1:   His name was now Lemme-Lepja 2:   He received $1 extra pocket-money a day. NOW! Does this really qualify as a metamorphosis? The answer is, of course, an obese black man wearing a tweed jacket and a nice fez. Anyway, calling this the “amazing adventures” of Lemme-Lepja may be stretching the truth a little bit. Lemme-Lepja experienced only one adventure, and it was in no way amazing. As he now earned $1 extra a day (compared to the previous arrangement which earned him a measly $0 a day), our hero decided to spend $1 a day on… cloth. $1 worth of cloth is not really an impressive catch, but as the weeks went by, Lemme-Lepja had accumulated a rather respectable amount of cloth. One day (and this is what I have so frivolously described as Lemme-Lepja’s amazing adventure) Lemme-Lepja faithfully visited the cloth-shop. To his moderate surprise he saw, relaxing between the counter and some clot, an obese black man wearing a tweed jacket and a nice fez. “Lemje-Leppa?” the black man inquired. “…yes…” Lemme-Lepja replied. Left shaken by this shocking conversation, Lemje-Leppa immediately, without considering the severe consequences, bought $0 worth of cloth…

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