Understanding Qom
What is Qom? At one point or another, we’ve all uttered these highly charged words, adding an equally charged question-mark at the end of the sentence. The decision to risk my reputation, my career, even my life, by trying to answer it, was not an easy one. Especially if you take into consideration that I in no way will be able to give a satisfying definition of this eternal word. Taste it: QOM! Not Quom – QOM! Beautiful! But all the more dangerous for it. The legendary curse of Qom tells us that if one should become aware of the meaning of the term, any relative or acquaintance below the age of 37 will be forever robbed of his or her happiness (the curse says nothing about pets, but animals are seldom happy anyway). This very month my youngest cousin celebrated his 38 birthday, so I feel the time has come. (My great-grandfather is just 22 years old, but I hate the old bastard with a passion, so I’ll take my chances).
Now, what, or, indeed, who is Qom? Is Qom a person? Yes and no! I have crafted these illustrations by scraping my fingernails against bulletproof glass to make this understandable:
Qom is a person, but a person cannot be Qom!
This figure should clarify further:
See, it’s not that hard! (The puppy at the bottom doesn’t really have anything to do with Qom, but he does seem like a nice little fella!)
The next issue is whether or not one should strive to achieve Qom. The answer is, beyond the shadow of a doubt: Maybe! The desire for Qom is strong, but the human body is unconsciously aware of the fact that Qom will surface when the time comes. Still, Qom must under no circumstances be taken for granted!
The path to a better understanding of Qom is paved with uncertainties, booby-traps, misunderstandings, even one or two rather amusing anecdotes. I see no reason to include these, as my research recently (22 seconds ago) revealed an earth-shattering fact: Qom is…a Chinese person. Not really a mystery, then, seeing as there are about 1.3 billion Chinese people in the world (I’m sure there are more, but I don’t know where they’re hiding).
Well, that’s about it. I have included a picture of Qom (taken about 23 years ago, before my great-grandfather was born), and that should take care of the last loose ends concerning Qom.
Now that you know who, or what, Qom is, I hope you shall lead a happy life from this moment on. This is more than can be said of my great-grandfather, or, indeed, of Qom himself…
