Stories From The Head

A “Brainnfakkel” The following letter was discovered among several other letters in an institution known as “The Post Office”:      Dear man Please excuse me… Ok, I’m back. Just had to pop out for a quick walk. I have been meaning to write this letter for years, but so far I haven’t found anything to write about. By the way, my mother, Kumøpp, says “hello”. (Hehe…her real name is Jimmij (a rather fascinating palindrome, actually), but I wrote Kumøpp because she doesn’t know how to read, even though she’s a famous writer). If you’re reading this sitting down, I must now urge you to stand up. It is my intention to systematically point to several processes and/or occurrences which I feel are the reason for the unbelievable decay of our beautiful society. But I won’t bore you with the details. I’d rather tell you about my trip to the mountains last fall. Too bad I can’t. My, my, it’s good to get all this off my chest. You see, I keep most of my stuff inside the chest: My nail-clippers, my alabaster donkey, my puppys (not puppies. That would be cruel), and, of course, my pen and paper. WAIT A MINUTE! That means this letter hasn’t been written yet… Art historians, sorcerers, plumbers, and several other experts worked day and night to make sense of this beautiful and subversive prose, but to no avail. They decided to call it a “brainnfakkel” and name it “the greatest discovery ever”. This would eventually be contested seventeen years later, when a puppy was found wandering along a lonely highway just around the corner. It had apparently been trapped inside a chest for seventeen years, and it was carrying an alabaster donkey. The nail-clippers were never found…

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