Stories From The Head

The Horny Monk “HEEELP!” Mukum was sitting behind his desk. He had just realized that he was mute. Suddenly, a peacock dressed as a mitten entered the room. “Hmmmm”, Mukum thought to himself. “I think I’ll become a monk”. The peacock nodded silently. Mukum located the finest monastery in town, and enlisted as a class A monk. The abed immediately warmed to Mukum, and named him “Bolla The Invincible”. Bolla T.I. loved living in the monastery, but there was one person he just couldn’t stand: Lommalom. Lommalom enjoyed pestering Bolla T.I. with crude sexual innuendo and dirty looks. Bolla T.I. was, of course, a virgin, and sexuality was rather frowned upon by the abbed (except, his own sexuality, naturally). Once, at breakfast, Lommalom bent down and licked Bolla T.I.’s ear. “How’s it “hanging?” he asked. Bolla T.I. started crying. “Why are you doing this to me?” he screamed. “I just want to be a monk. I just want to pray, vomit and produce blackberries. Who are you? Who the HELL ARE YOU?” A silence followed. The abbed looked up from his erotic magazine. He could see his young protégé breaking down before his very eyes, as a result of the constant abuse from a fellow monk. He decided the magazine was more important. Bolla T.I. decided to return to his cell. As he closed the door, he realized he wasn’t alone. Lommalom was lying on the floor, vomiting. Bolla T.I. simply ignored this, as this was part of a monk’s daily ritual. But suddenly Bolla T.I. noticed that Lommalom was changing. He was turning into… THE PEACOCK DRESSED AS A MITTEN!!!! Bolla The Invincible never spoke again…

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