Stories From The Head

Horace Minterwinter Horace Minterwinter had no way of knowing that his wife was a man. He/she had always insisted, even when asked right to her face, that she belonged to the male gender. Horace felt that he had to turn a blind eye to all this gender-bending, because he really, REALLY wanted to have children. While the good Mr. Minterwinter was a bit daft (“a big moron”, according to his dad, Mickel), even he had realized that he couldn’t conceive a child on his own. He needed a woman. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 47, he decided to marry a young man named Linma. How Horace had come to misunderstand his wife’s gender, is a cause for great speculation. The wise men of Gorgoz had three different theories: 1.              Horace thought Linma was a girl’s name (like Jack, Omko and Fata). 2.              Linma posed as a girl to marry Horace, whom he thought was a woman. (This theory has been tested by representatives from the Raculacept-monks, but the results were inconclusive). 3.              It was an arranged marriage to bring together two of the most powerful families in the country. (This theory is only supported by anarchists, seeing as neither Horace nor Linma belonged to any of these families). Many have, in retrospect, wondered why Horace didn’t divorce Linma, but the truth was that they really loved each other (and, as I mentioned earlier, Horace didn’t know his wife was a man). One might ask why this story has indeed been written. It would have been a rather dull little yarn, had it not been for a rather interesting twist: On December 28. 1987, Linma Minterwinter gave birth to three beautiful baby girls. Extensive testing, conducted by the Raculacept-monks proved, beyond any doubt, that Horace Minterwinter was the father. The girls were named Lompo, Hompo and Skvæk…

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