Stories From The Head

Songs for a Dying Juhap In Hynderland, the juhap was viewed as a holy creature. Its beautiful green hoofs, its golden eyes, and the tail, oh the wonderful, bushy tail. There was no doubt about it, it had been sent by the gods. Britisk and his younger sister, Nippelklæmma, were roaming the giant plains, looking for food, shelter, and objects that were totally unnecessary, except for bragging to your friends that you owned an object of this kind, and they didn’t. As Britisk and Nippelklæmma had no friends, it might have, to an outsider, seemed outrageously stupid for the two youngsters to spend all their time looking for these types of objects. This story, however, has no place for such meaningless details. It must keep moving, or it will die a lonely death, far removed from such classic stories as “Watching Sesk Dance”, “Riding The Guggokåppter”, "Anelo Pint And The Invisible Car” and “Fettm Tamil Top”. The author knew this, and continued the tale of Britisk and Nippelklæmma, and their quest for food, shelter, and the objects that have been thoroughly analysed in the course of this story. As they uncovered a small box containing some pitsa-berries, Britisk and Nippelklæmma heard a sound they’d never heard before. They started following it, and soon came across a juhap, lying perfectly still. “Oh lord” said Nippelklæmma. “It is dying”. And so it was. The juhap was dying. The two children immediately started performing as kind of first aid on the juhap, but they soon realized that bolts of electricity and fire were not what the beautiful animal needed right now. “I know what to do” Britisk said in a solemn voice. “We must gather all the children and sing the juhap’s praise!” Nippelklæmma agreed. They sent out letters to all the children they knew, inviting them to join in the ceremony of the dying juhap. Everyone came. Janne, Fiskobåt, Jibbi-Jibbi, Enes, Ukterslem, Tromsbur, Ækte, Lillisnik, Quc, Lassna, Pether, Bébén, Uln, Iln, Aln, Pichter, Svulst, Prise...Even Kjabbehytta wanted to contribute to giving the juhap a worthy demise. They all lit candles, put on their ansa-hats, and started singing to the ever-weaker juhap. Songs like “Juhap, Juhapo”, “The End Of The Juhap”, “Juhap Forever”, “Puff, The Magic Juhap”, “Juhap Lover #1” “Requiem For A Juhap” and “A Hard Days Juhap”. Tears were flowing down the children’s cheeks, and the juhap attempted to smile. Suddenly Lassna started singing the most beautiful of all juhap-songs: “You Are My Juhap, My Only Juhap”. All the children followed her lead, and the song went something like this (feel free to join in): You are my juhap, my only juhap I am unhappy when you are ill Such lovely features, Such graceful creatures Even lying so perfectly still   Oh, lovely juhap, my lovely juhap I wish you didn’t have to die It makes me so blue Just thinking of you In your juhap-grave in the sky With that, the juhap drew its last breath. The children stood there, silently watching it die. Suddenly, Jibbi-Jibbi broke the silence: “ANYONE WANNA GO GOMPA-SURFING??!?!” The kids all cheered and laughed. Clearly they hadn’t understood what they had just witnessed. Britisk, Nippelklæmma and Lassna were shocked. “Well, at least WE felt it” Britisk whispered. They buried the juhap in the juhap burial-ground, and started doing what they did best: Gathering objects to impress the other children. Lassna had just discovered an old teacup, when they suddenly heard the now-familiar sound of a dying juhap. This time, however, neither of them cared. The juhap is such a boring creature anyway...

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