Plays From The Head

Father Vs. Ape "I'm feeling a bit rebellious today" Hollopp thought to himself. "I think I'll kill my father". Hollopp and his father, Gaggag, had a teriffic relationship, but, as they say; "teenagers will be teenagers!" (Hollopp was 84 years old). Killing one's own father can be bloody hard work. Especially if you're a moron, like Hollopp. He devised a ghoulish plan to lure his father into his lair (Gaggag's apartment), and kill him by extracting all the yellow stuff from his "cabin". "Placing an ad in "Gay Pride" is the right thing to do", Hollopp said out loud. "What will the ad say?" the passing midget replied. Hollopp cleared his throat. "YOUNG MØKKA-APE FOR SALE. BUYERS MAY VIEW THE PRODUCT AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS!" The ad was published on the 4th of October at 8.47 a.m. At exactly 7.35 a.m. Gaggag showed up outside his own apartment (he'd snuck out the back door), with his pockets full of cash. He rang the bell, after carefully checking the address. Hollopp answered the door, and the following conversation ensued: Hollopp:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gaggag:   Nice to meet you too. I've come to buy the ape. Hollopp:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gaggag:   Of course! Hollopp:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There is no ape. I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU! HAHAHAHAAHA! Gaggag:   I've come to buy the ape... Hollopp:  FATHER! You're going to DIE! Gaggag:   ...the møkka ape! Hollopp:  DAD! IT'S ME! HOLLOPP! Gaggag:   I know! Hollopp:  AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Gaggag:   Well, that's all very exciting, son, but I have an ape to buy! Hollopp:  GRRRRR! THERE IS NO APE! Gaggag:   ... Hollopp:  JUST DEATH! Gaggag:   ... Hollopp:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gaggag:   ...this is 431 Jumboc Drive? Hollopp:  ... Gaggag:   ...and you recently placed an ad in "Gay Pride"? Hollopp:  ...yes...but... Gaggag:   Well...WHERE'S THE APE?!!?! Hollopp:  ...there is no ape... Gaggag:   Excuse me, sir, I would like to buy the ape. Hollopp:  There is no ape! Gaggag:   Is this 431 Jumboc Drive? Hollopp:  There is no ape! Gaggag:   Oh, hello son! Are you here to buy the ape? Hollopp:  Excuse me? Gaggag:   Certainly! Are you here to buy the ape? Hollopp:  ...yes... Gaggag:   THE APE IS MINE!!!!!! As Gaggag murdered his own son, a small møkka-ape crawled out of Hollopp's shirt pocket. Hollopp, though dying, couldn't help laughing at the irony of it all. "Well...at least one of us got what he wanted". He looked into his father's eyes. A murderous rage burned in them, but Hollopp just couldn't stop smiling. "I love you, dad", he whispered barely alive. The passing midget's eyes filled with tears. "I love you too, son", Gaggag replied,  as he squeezed the life out of his own son. The møkka-ape had perched itself on Gaggag's left shoulder, oblivious to the moving father-son-bonding that was taking place before its very eyes. "Brr...chree...kripp", it thought to itself. And it was right...

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