Plays From The Head

Banished By A Dwarf! "Actually, I prefer the term "tiny human" to the term "dwarf"", Bobbojol, the dwarven leader whispered to the author of "Banished By A Dwarf. "It makes us feel smaller, you see. And who doesn't want to feel as small as possible?". "Who indeed..." the handsome young author replied. "Who, indeed...". Then, he tried again. Banished By A Tiny Human! "Better", Bobbojol whispered. "Thank you", the smart, dashing, sexually experienced author replied. Then...he continued writing the story: “Boooooooooooobboooooooooojooooooool!!” was the sound the villagers heard, a calm Monday morning. If they had looked more closely, they would have seen Wimmajol, son of Bobbojol, the dwarven... excuse me, tiny human leader, running towards a cave deep in the Zummikatta Mountains. Wæctorm an adventurous young boy, decided to investigate. He murdered his entire family, except his mother, his father, his seven siblings, and their dog, Rudolm, and set out to find the cave. Meanwhile, in the cave: Wimmajol:         BOBBOJOL! Bobbojol:             Yes, my child, why are you screaming so? Wimmajol:         My tooth fell out! (Wimmajol receives a severe beating for wasting his father’s time) Bobbojol:             Now leave. (Wimmajol tries to answer, but is too weak) Bobbojol:             Get him out of my sight! Meanwhile, somewhere else: (Hunting noises) Røj:                No, I have removed the cloth! Pøstor:        Well, then you should be able to see it. Røj:                Hmmm, nothing. Pøstor:        Replace the cloth. (The hunting noises move closer) Pøstor:       Hmmmm. Røj:              Wait a minute… Meanwhile, in the cave: (A tiny human messenger enters the cave) The tiny human messenger:    Bobbojol! Bobbojol:                                    Yes, messenger! The tiny human messenger:    My tooth fell out! (The guards get ready to give the tiny human messenger a severe beating, but the tiny human messenger claims that he was only joking. He had heard of Wimmajol’s unsuccessful attempt to tell his father of his missing tooth, and decided to “pull Bobbojol’s leg”, which he did. More precicely, the left leg). Bobbojol:                                    Ha ha ha… Well, what news? The tiny human messenger:    I have discovered a human being. My friend, Luukas, has captured him. Bobbojol:                                    Bring him before me! (Luukas brings Wæktorm into the cave) Luukas:                                      Puh… Meanwhile, in Wæktorm’s village: Wæktorm’s mother:                    I hope Wæktorm hasn’t been captured by the tiny humans! Wæktorm’s seven siblings:        Shut up!  Meanwhile, in the cave: Bobbojol:          NAME? Wæktorm:           Yes. Bobbojol:          AAAARRRGGHHHH!! Wæktorm:           I suppose so… Bobbojol:          Fine! So human, you decided to visit us tiny humans. Wæktorm:           That’s obvious, isn’t it? Bobbojob:          Oh, brother Bobbojol! Let’s kill him! Humans are disgusting. Just look at him! He eats his food through his mouth! He uses his arms to grab things! He wears clothes! HE EVEN USES HIS ADRENALINE GLAND TO PRODUCE ADRENALINE IN CASE HE GETS ANGRY OR EXITED! BAH! (Bobbojob, Bobbojol’s brother receives a severe beating, while explained that his description of humans applies to tiny humans as well, except for the adrenaline part. You see, tiny humans have to rely their uncles to produce adrenaline). Bobbojol:          You may go! Wæktorm:           Thank you! (The hunting noises move even closer…)…

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